What I learned this summer and my personal In/ Outs for the remainder of 2024
Reflections, lessons learned and other things that brat summer brought me.
"Woah, I learned so much!" I say to myself at the end of every summer as if I'm not constantly learning major life lessons.
But it's true this summer has taught me a lot, and thankfully, it has been far more gentle in its intrusions than 2021, 2022, or 2023 combined. I'm learning so much but without the feeling of getting my teeth kicked in at every turn, and ya know what? I will take it. But that is also one of the things I have learned - knowing that some bad things ( not all bad things and not the bad things caused by other people's free will) will help me get closer to what I desire is helpful. Because growing sucks in the moment. It's painful and awkward and feels never-ending, but the second you are on the other side, you feel the same satisfaction as when you beat the impossible boss level without cheat codes.
This summer, growing pains have been here to help me refocus. Both internally and creatively. I learned (as I have previously written about) to give myself forced breaks for the sake of my creative well-being. Slow days and easy nights are now mandatory, especially back-to-back every couple of weeks. I need the refresh. And that also helped me because -
I got to step back and see what it was like to release my debut book. A goal I've been working towards since I was 7. That is a wild thing to achieve. Not only did I write the book, but I've done signing events and podcasts and walked into bookstores and seen it on the shelf; I've sold copies to folks worldwide, etc and ETC.
Sure, it's a humble start, and I'm not a household name or on any Best Books of the Year list, but it's my start. I did the thing rather than waiting for perfection. But it also taught me that my fundamental value or worth is no different. The only difference is how widely accessible my work is.
I've also learned the power of saying yes again. Due to the unfortunate circumstances of the past few years, I found myself incapable of doing this.
But the lesson I relearned this summer is one my dad taught me years ago: when it comes to Hollywood, everyone can say no. Only folks with actual power and status can say yes and mean it.
So, while I have no power and status, the doors that open when I get out of my head and say yes to luck, the results are mighty even when they seem like a flop.
So say yes, and maybe you will find yourself at the best party of your life or working your dream job, and at worst, you will walk away with a boring story. Keep working towards a future that lets you say yes more than no.
And that is the mindset I am carrying with me into the last few months of the year.
Now, to my first-ever ins and outs list.
Ins
being too much
daily dance parties
obsessing over niche playlists with titles and photos only I will appreciate
giving back the books I've borrowed from friends promptly
being a micro-influencer on Letterboxd
Mixing and matching
listening to my sister's hot takes before the crisis she saw coming hits
giving my honest feedback when friends ask for it instead of watering down my honed-in skill set in the name of seeming normal
researching ways to cut back on toxic household cleaning products
being humble. I've worked too hard for these milestones to pretend that years of handwork, training, and help from others didn't get me to where I am. None of this was purely by chance.
Giving my closest friends gifts made by me
Craft-themed Date nights / Girls' nights. There are many affordable and eco-friendly ways to do this, and it will be the most magical night of the week. I promise
Outs
People who can't find the humor in the truly absurd nature of my life. I don't choose the main character's life; the screenwriters ( God ) choose it for me.
I do not take the hints when someone shows me who they are or doesn't have time for me in their lives. Everyone is busy, including me. I don't need to stress over the inconsistencies in how people treat me. If they want me, they know where to find me. If they have an issue, they can voice it. Till then, I'm letting go.
Supporting people who have no desire to build community and only wanna take with no gratitude or respect for those who showed up for them.
Letting other people's criticism stop me from doing what I know I want to, aka acting or wearing the clothes I want to.
Over consumption of things, I don't need. Noelle put the credit card down. It's terrible for the environment.
People who don't appreciate my passions
People who don't appreciate my humor
People who use being condescending as a love language
Letting men physically walk into me to get attention after pissing me off ( especially the ones who do it twice)
Out
